Sawnik Unleashed
by DinTheUltimateMaverick
Summary: What would happen if Shadow were in the storyline of Sonic Unleashed? What would happen if their adventures were uncut? NOT YAOI
1. Chapter 1

Sorry for not uploading anything for a while, but I had a lot of complications, what with writer's block, and my computer messing up, and me mourning over my bricked Wii (loved that thing), but those have been passed, and it's time for something to be posted! YAY! This marks my first ever story that I've written completely based on humor, and it features completely **NO** romance! :O  
**Now then, onward with the usual: I do NOT own Sonic and Co. because they belong to SEGA and they're too stingy to share :(**

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"Hey, Sonic." Shadow said

"Zzzzzz….."

"Sonic!"

"Zzzzzzzz….."

Shadow sighed and shook his head.

"There's only one way I can wake this idiot up." He said before taking in a very deep inhale. "WAKE UP YOU GODDAMN FAKER!!!!"

"UWAAAAH!" Sonic screamed, and snapped to his senses. "Uhh….oh, it's just you Shads. Whaddya want anyway?"

"You idiot, did you forget already? We have to report to Professor Pickle and Tails for the location of the next Temple!"

Sonic, still a little dazed, could only mutter, "Nnnh, can't we wait five more minutes?"

"That's it you pathetic oaf!"

Shadow grabbed the azure hedgehog and flung him over his shoulder, making sure that Sonic wouldn't fall off, and marched out of the room. Sonic however, was perfectly content, and quickly fell asleep on Shadow's shoulder, earning the midnight warrior some odd looks from the hotel employees. He paid them no mind, and exited the vast building known as "Spagonia Hotel".

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"Hey professor, are you sure that's the continent the next Temple is located?" A bright yellow kitsune questioned.

"Hmm….yes. I'm quite sure, unless I somehow misdeciphered the tablet, but I don't see that happening." A frankly old man replied.

"Well, Sonic's not going to like this."

"He's not going to like what?"

Prof. Pickle and Tails turned to see Amy Rose entering the study with a drowsy look on her face.

"Jeez Amy, you need to learn to wake up earlier!" Tails commented.

"Well excuuuuse me for having to wake up at 7 in the morning!" She yawned, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Well, I know what'll wake you up." Prof. Pickle started, "A well made cucumber sandwich!"

"Professor, no offense, but I don't think Amy wants to eat anymore sandwiches"

"Hm, well she needs to eat them anyways. They're great for diet plans."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't quite catch that. What was that about a diet plan?" The pink hedgehog snapped as she brandished her trademark Piko Piko hammer, and reared back for attack.

"Hmph, I think I'm going to need that hammer more than you do."

Shadow entered the study, and snatched the hammer from Amy's hands, forcing raged looks from her, but he turned them down, and used the hammer to glomp his lighter counterpart.

"Owowowowowowow!! SHADOW, what the heck was that for?" Sonic shouted, holding his head in anguish. He quickly took the hammer from Shadow, and proceeded to smash Shadow with it, however Shadow simply sidestepped the blow, causing it to hit Amy instead.

"Oh….Jeez, I'm sorry Amy, I didn't mean to…."

The glare that Amy gave Sonic clearly told him that nothing he could say would calm her down.

"Ha, you're screwed faker!" Shadow laughed, and gave Amy a soft push towards Sonic.

"Aw….shi-"

"Soniiiiiiiiiiiiiiic!!!!!!!!!"

Seeing Amy chase Sonic out of the study, and through the streets and alleyways of Spagonia was a rather funny sight, and had the crew back at the study laughing themselves to death, however, they Prof. Pickle, and Tails got to briefing Shadow on the location of the next temple.

"I see….very well then, I shall depart immediately." Shadow said.

"Ah, very good Shadow. Now here is a chaos emerald for you," Prof. Pickle gave Shadow a glowing green gem, "and here is a map."

"Yessss, the green one….that's my favorite one….." The midnight-crimson warrior hissed, rubbing the green chaos emerald against his peachy muzzle.

"Uhh…Shadow?" Tails commented, trying to turn away from the sight, "I think you better leave before this gets more…..awkward."

"Now then, don't be rash Tails!" The Prof. said. "Think of the myriad benefits there could be from having a hedgehog born from pure chaos energy!"

"Silence, I will be on my way then…" Said the now irritated hedgehog, and he left in search of his doppelganger.

"Uhh…..professor, I don't think chaos emeralds can give birth."

"Nonsense, my boy, they have limitless capabilities! Surely they can be capable of creating life."

"Not like that anyways…" Tails said, and began deciphering the tablet again.

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"Come on Amy, I didn't mean to!"

"Come on Sonic, I don't mean to turn you into ROADKILL!"

Amy was still chasing Sonic through Spagonia, and so far they knocked over a chili dog stand, an ice cream cart, an empty baby stroller, and a crying mime.

"Amy please! At least let me apologise to that mime, he deserves better!"

"LIKE HELL HE DOES!"

Suddenly, Sonic stopped, and Amy crashed into him, making him fall to the ground, staring at the feet of,

"Oh no, an army of mimes!" Sonic noted, "and they have invisible pepper spray!"

"Oh Sonic, you're so gullible. Mimes are stupid, they don't even know what pepper spray is."

Just then, a mime walked up to her, and sprayed her in the eyes with pepper spray, and motioned for the others to do the same. Amy fled in terror, and Sonic thanked the mime in the only way possible: by making an invisible box. The mime gave a quick nod, and he along with his army chased after Amy. Sonic however, tried to move, but found himself being blocked by any unseeable force.

"Oh no, please don't tell me I did 'it' again!"

Sonic used his hands to feel around for more of the invisible force, and confirmed that he did in fact, do 'it' again. What is "it" you ask, why he made accidentally encased himself in an invisible sphere….on a 45 degree vertical hill.

"NO!"

He started to roll down the hill, and his speed increased along with time, making him knock over yet even more stuff including the mime army, and Amy. However, after a while, he found himself to be suddenly stopped by a lone midnight figure.

"You did it again, I take it?"

"Jup" Sonic smiled.

"You jackass." And Shadow somehow broke the sphere and got Sonic out.

"So, where are we supposed to go now?" Sonic quizzed.

"What, no thanks? No appreciation for saving you?"

"Just tell me where we're supposed to go!"

"Hmph, fine, I thought that I would have a change of heart, and make this less painful for you, but I see now that you want me to let you go full force without thinking." Shadow said.

Sonic immediately blushed and put scratched his head in embarrassment.

"Heh….Shads….I didn't think we were going _this_ steady."

"What?"

Sonic leaned closer to Shadow, and pressed the tip of his nose against Shadow's.

"You really think we're ready?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID MOTHERFU-" Shadow cut himself off when he noticed a little child looking his way. "You know what, I'm gonna make sure you suffer long and well for this."

"Oh my, I think we might need more than this little thing." Sonic said, pulling out a little rubber object that, from the looks of it, you could put on your finger.

"That's it, CHAOS CONTROL!"

And so, the two warped.

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Where are they going? What does Shadow have planned? Will anyone save Amy? And will the Professor STOP EATING THOSE DAMN SANDWICHES??? Find out on the next episode, of Dragon Ball Z!


	2. Cool Edge Act 1 Daytime

"And here we are. Take a good look at where you are, Sonic."

"Wait….does this mean that it's time for a long and detailed explanation about our location?"

"Yes….it does."

Sonic and Shadow had arrived at their next destination: Cool Edge, Holoska. Holoska is a beautifully crafted kingdom of ice and freezing water that is sure to turn you into a cube that will cool a refreshing drink that your friend drinks during the summertime. The icy paths were glistening ever so brightly from the gifting sun, and they lead to giant glaciers that were also shimmering with light, but they looked far more beautiful. Ice paths were constantly overtaken by the powdery snow that felt so soft, you could have sworn you died and went to heaven...which is probably what you would do, because the snow was just as cold as the waters. Dashing through the lush snow and up the glaciers is an arduous task, but alas, it is very rewarding, as you finally reach the wonderful village, which houses friendly people that are eager to help you out in any possible way.

"So….what do you think Sonic?" Shadow half asked with a grin.

Looking up at the above text, Sonic asks a question of his own, "How can you half-ask something?"

"Just answer my damn question!" Shadow snapped.

Thank you Shadow.

"Huh? Oh yeah, this place is wonderful!"

"Wait….what?"

"Did you even read the description of this place?"

"That's not the point! Aren't you usually afraid of water?"

"Well, yeah, but this is frozen water."

"And?"

"It won't break because I'm-" Sonic stopped and thought for a second. "Hey, where's Chip?"

"Right here!"

Sonic noticed that Chip was hidden in Shadow's chest fur.

"Umm….why are you there?"

"Because it's warm here, and it keeps my chocolate thawed!" Chip replied before taking a bite out of chocolate that he presumably hid in Shadow's chest. "I remember the last time my chocolate wasn't warm…."

**Flashback**

Sonic and Chip were running along the frozen and desolate roads of Cool Edge, when suddenly, Chip got hungry and slowed down. Sonic did the same, wondering what the problem was, but he soon figured it out when Chip pulled a chocolate bar from…..err…..behind himself, and attempted to bite into it. Unfourtunately, the bar was frozen, and hurt the little guy's teeth.

**End Flashback**

"So….you've been here before?" Shadow quizzed.

"Duh, this is where we found you!" Sonic answered while pointing to a spot under the ice.

"Oh yeah, I remember…"

**Another Flashback**

Sonic and Chip were running along the frozen and desolate roads of Cool Edge, when suddenly, Sonic saw a figure trapped in the icy prison below him.

"Don't worry, I'll get you out!"

Sonic repeatedly performed axe kicks to try and free the prisoner, and Chip assisted by using his frozen candy bar as an ice pick. After a good while of breaking some ice, they finally reached him.

"Phew, thank goodness you're safe Chill Penguin!" Sonic cheered, giving him a hug.

"Wha? Where the heck am I?" Chill Penguin asked looking around.

"You're in Holoska."

"HOLOSKA?!?!?! Ack, I'm not in the right game! Oh man….Sigma's gonna kill me if he finds out that I wasn't there to stop X…." And with that, he walked off.

Sonic just shrugged, and was about to speed off until he spotted a black body underneath the spot he just rescued Chill Penguin from.

"Is that….it can't be! Hold on!"

Yet more ice breaking ensured, and Sonic freed another figure, only this time, it wasn't a maverick.

"It's a heartless!" Screamed the blue hedgie, and he ran in circles frantically, until the heartless vanished into its own darkness, forcing a sigh of relief from Sonic.

"Hey, idiot, why are you screaming?"

Sonic turned around to see Shadow ice fishing in an Eskimo coat, and smoking a cigar that he somehow managed to light despite the frigid air.

**End the second Flashback**

"Yep…..good times…." Shadow said, pulling a cigar from god-knows-where, and popping it into his mouth.

Chip reached up, and snatched the 'cig out of the Onyx splashed hedgehog, and tossed it to the ground, the replaced the cigar with a chocolate bar.

"Mmmm…."

"Uhh…Shadow, I think it's time to go." Sonic said.

"Hm? Oh right, we're supposed to be looking for this temple."

And so they dashed off. Through each and every road, curve, and iceberg, the heroes ran towards the village, occasionally stopping from time to time, due to Sonic's idiocy.

"Hey, it's that whale from Sonic Adventure!" Sonic said, pointing to the grey whale that just shot them to the next area with its blowhole.

"You idiot, that whale is grey, the one in Sonic Adventure was black and white!"

"Oh….hey, wait a minute. Why did you warp us here, and not in the village?"

"So you finally come up with a smart question, eh? Well due to me abusing chaos control so much, I can't warp as far as I want, and on top of that, there's a long wait for the chaos emerald to recharge so I can use it again."

"What about when we fought on Space Colony ARK?"

"…I was using Action Replay codes."

"Hmm….interesting. And what happened to our Extreme Gear?"

"This one day, you were so stoned that you tried to put yours in the toaster, and you gave mine to Rouge thinking that you were giving her a vibrator."

"And how exactly did I get stoned?"

"You were doing 'shrooms."

"Why?"

"Because you were playing Super Mario Galaxy too much, and bought some from a drug dealer in hopes that you could become Bee Sonic and 'Pollinate Tails' as you said."

"…."

And for the rest of the way, Sonic said nothing until the goal ring came in view.

"There it is, you wanna race for it?"

"You bet."

The two dashed towards the ring, colliding with each other in hopes of knocking the other away, and when they were 2 steps away, Sonic succeeded in knocking Shadow back.

"Wooooo! I got the ring, so what's my rank?"

As the score was being accounted for on the side of the screen, Shadow took this moment to catch up with Sonic and kick him in the balls. Sonic of course, fell to the side, and Shadow stood besides the Rank, which turned into an "S" after he collected massive points for kicking Sonic.

"Hmph, perfect as always!" He shouted, folding his arms.

Sonic recovered, and tried to mimic Shadow's kick, but it had no effect on him. Dumbfounded, he tried again, and just like before, his efforts failed him.

"You idiot, I haven't had any 'action' for 50 years! What makes you think it still works? I couldn't even use my hand as a substitute for crying out loud!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…… too much information dude!"

"Well it's your fault for trying to kick me where 'sunshine refuses to come.'"

"Ha! You said 'come' even though you can't."

"…..Mr. Dintheultimatemaverick, can I say it please?"

Um….sure, go ahead.

"This angered Shadow far beyond anything that the blue hedgehog could comprehend, and Sonic tried to run, but Shadow snapped his arm forward, and grabbed Sonic by the neck." He said while doing so.

"Wait…Shadow, I didn't mean it, I-"

"SILENCE BITCHEUS, I will have no more of your mockery!"

"Ugh…Shadow…."

"Little by little, the life dripped out of Sonic, and just before he lost consciousness, he glanced at the setting sun behind Shadow…..wait…..hwa?"

Shadow turned around to see that the sun was indeed setting, and that Chip fled from the scene.

"Oh….great."

"Grrrr….Shadow, I got something to tell you!"

"OHGODNOPLEASEDADDYDON'TLETMEDIELIKETHIS!!!!"

And alas, the sun was gone from view, and replaced by the moon.

Oh yeah, and Sonic needs a new pair of gloves now.

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I'd like to take this time to ask you viewers if you could lend me your ideas to make this story even funnier, because I'm pretty tight on funny ideas now. Keep in mind that although I'm asking you to do this, keep the ideas resonable, otherwise I will not include them. Have a good day, and see you next chapter.


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